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Why Parents Need To Set Expectations For Neurodivergent Children


With a lot of our brainpower targeted on the small print, and diverted from the larger image, it may be laborious for me (and my son) to search out the “why” that sustains us by way of any variety of seemingly small hardships alongside the way in which. Life can usually really feel like it’s spinning uncontrolled. There are too many particulars that we will’t management, and but we see all of them individually, normally with out with the ability to understand of all of them as a part of one massive image.

It’s laborious to explain what that is wish to somebody who has not skilled it. It’s like attempting to carry on to sand. There are such a lot of tiny little grains—each appears equally essential, and but it’s inconceivable to carry on to all of them.

Setting expectations mitigates a few of this lack of management. Merely understanding the construction during which my life is being held—even when only for the day or for the subsequent few hours—can supply an amazing sense of readability. It’s like all of the sudden having a bucket for the sand. If I do know that I’ve a five-by-five-inch bucket during which to place my sand, I’ll management the grains of sand I have interaction with with a purpose to achieve success inside that managed construction.

So, for instance, if we ask our son to place down his pill, and he doesn’t know why or for a way lengthy, and he had no prior expectation of getting to cease utilizing it, he’s a lot much less keen to cooperate. Nonetheless, if we had already set a fifteen-minute time restrict when he picked up the pill, and he hears the timer go off, he’ll put it down of his personal accord, as a result of his expectations had been clear, and now he’s in charge of his personal future.

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