8 Signs, Stages + How It Differs From Love
In keeping with Boquin, limerence and love can begin off equally as a dopamine rush, which is why it may be complicated to identify. However whereas limerence is short-lived and conditional, real love is fluid and unconditional. While you actually love somebody, you need them to be blissful regardless of what they may give you. The preliminary attraction develops over time and ultimately reinforces into one thing substantial and lasting.
“Love is extra regular and grounding whereas limerence leaves us with that feeling of being within the clouds,” Boquin explains. “Love is a deep connection that folks develop after figuring out each other, experiencing life collectively, and overcoming challenges collectively.”
Depanian provides that limerence typically comes with the tendency to disregard flaws and red flags: “With limerence, chances are you’ll end up hyper-focusing with regards to your affection (the limerent object) and their constructive traits to the purpose of ignoring current flaws, and directing your intense, irrational feelings in the direction of the thought of what they signify for you rather than who that particular person really is in actuality.”
In the event you’re nonetheless not sure for those who’re on this dynamic, think about it from this angle. Depanian explains that love stabilizes with companions bonding via mutual connection, pursuits, empathy, and shared experiences. Conversely, limerence is marked by depth after which fast destabilization. The projection can’t pull via sufficient to create a relationship because it’s not a sustainable mannequin for connection. “Love is rooted in connection, intimacy, mutuality, and actuality, whereas limerence is rooted in possession, obsession, jealousy, and delusions,” she notes.